Nancy, a blonde, goes to the gynecologist and he examines her.
He says, "You have acute vaginitis."
She says, "Thank you."

A policeman pulled a blonde over after she'd been driving the wrong way
on a one-way street.
Cop: Do you know where you were going?
Blonde: No, but wherever it is, it must be bad 'cause all the people were
leaving. 

Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory?
She kept throwing out the W's.

What's a blonde's idea of safe sex?
Locking the car door.

Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills.

 Q: What's the difference between a mosquito and a blonde?
A: When you slap a mosquito, it will stop sucking.
    
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and the Atlantic Coast?
A: The Atlantic Coast would never have that many crabs.
    
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a taxi cab?
A: You have to pay to ride in a taxi cab.
 
Q: Why did the blonde have lip stick on her steering wheel?
A: She was trying to blow the horn.
    
Q: Why does a blonde wear panties?
A: To keep her ankles warm.
    
Q: What is the difference between a blonde and the local football team?
A: The blonde has the higher sperm count.
    
Q: How does a blonde turn on the lights after having sex?
A: Opens the car door.
    
Q: What do blondes and cow pies have in common?
A: The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.
    
Q: Why aren't blondes good cattle herders?
A: Because they can't even keep two calves together!
    
Q: What did the blonde's right leg say to the left leg?
A: Nothing. They've never met.
    
Q: Why is a blonde like a turtle?
A: They are both fucked when they're on their back.
    
Q: What did the blonde's mom say to her before she went out?
A: If you're not in bed by midnight, come home.
    
Q: What's a blonde's favorite nursery rhyme?
A: Humpme Dumpme.
    
Q: What did the blonde do when her doctor told her she had sugar in
     her urine?
A: She peed on her corn flakes.

Q: Why did god give blondes 2% more brains than horses?
A: Because he didn't want them shitting in the streets during parades.
    
Q: How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?
A: Wave to her.

Q: How does a blonde like her eggs?
A: Unfertilized.
    
Q: How do you drown a blond?
A1: Put a mirror at the bottom of the pool.
A2: Don't tell her to swallow.
A3: Leave a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.
    
What is the blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears?
Trying to hold on to a thought.

Why did the blonde stare at frozen orange juice can for 2 hours?
Because it said 'concentrate'.

Why do blondes get confused in the ladies room?
They have to pull their own pants down.

Why don't blondes like making KOOL-AID?
Because they can't fit 8 cups of water in the little packet.


Why do blondes like tilt steering?
More head room.

Why do blondes drive cars with sunroofs?
More leg room.

How do you keep a blonde busy?
Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper.

What does a blonde answer to the question "Are you sexually active?"
"No, I just lie there."

How did the blonde try to kill the bird?
She threw it off a cliff.

Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?
Because on the box it said From 2-4 years.

What do most blondes have against condoms?
Their cheeks.

Why was the blonde upset when she got her Driver's License?
Because she got an F in sex.

A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces.
"Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."

What do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet?
The winner of a "Hide and Seek" game.

Why can't blondes use birth control pills?
They keep falling out.

Why does a blonde eat beans on Saturday?
So she can take a bubble bath on Sunday.
 
Why did the blonde have a hysterectomy?
She wanted to stop having grandchildren.

Why was the blonde two hours late getting home?
The escalator got stuck.

Why did the blonde stay up all night studying?
She had a urine test the next day.

How do you confuse a blonde?
Give her a pack of M&M's and tell her to put them in alphabetical order.
 
What do you call a brunette between 2 blondes?
"Interpreter."

What does a blonde say first thing in the morning?
"Are all you guys on the same team?"

How many blondes does it take to make chocolate chip cookies?
100 - one to stir and 99 to peel the M&M's.

How can you tell when a blonde has used your computer?
There's "White-Out" all over the screen.